TED | 和给我负面评论的人对话

演讲简介

你有在网上被负面评论过吗？你当时是如何回应的？视而不见，予以回击，还是默默地怀疑自己？相信有相当一部分人会做出以上几种反应，但本期TED演讲嘉宾却给我们分享了他看待这件事的角度和做法。一起来看看吧。

 

 

 

演讲精彩片段（节选）欣赏

 

DM: At the end of these conversations, there's often a moment of reflection. A reconsideration. And that's exactly what happened at the end of my call with a guy named Doug who had written that I was a talentless propaganda hack.

在这些对话结尾，经常会有一段反思的时间。重新思考。我在和一个叫道格的家伙通话快结束时就发生了这样的事，他说我是一个毫无天分的宣传黑客。

 

(Audio) Did the conversation we just had --does it, like, make you feel differently about how you write online?

（音频）迪伦·马龙：我们刚才的对话——有没有让你感觉和在网上写评论不一样？

 

Doug: Yeah! You know, when I said this to you, when I said you were a "talentless hack," I had never conversed with you in my life, really. I didn't really know anything really about you. And I think that a lot of times, that's what the comment sections really are, it's really a way to get your anger at the world out on random profiles of strangers, pretty much.

道格：嗯！你知道吗，当我跟你在网上对话，当我说你是一个“毫无天分的黑客”时，我其实从没在现实生活中和你交流过。我其实并不真正了解你。我想来想去，这就是评论的本质吧，一种把自己对世界的愤怒发泄在陌生人身上的方式，真的，几乎可以这么说。

 

DM (Laughing): Yeah, right.

迪伦·马龙（笑）：哈哈，是啊。

 

Doug: But it definitely has made me rethink the way that I interact with people online.

道格：但是它绝对开始让我重新思考与人在网上互动的方式。（音频结束）

 

DM: So I've collected these conversations and many others for my podcast "Conversations with People Who Hate Me."

迪伦·马龙：所以我把这些还有很多这样的交谈汇总制作成播客“和仇恨我的人对话。“

 

Before I started this project, I thought that the real way to bring about change was to shut down opposing view points through epically worded video essays and comments and posts, but I soon learned those were only cheered on by the people who already agreed with me. Sometimes-- bless you. Sometimes, the most subversive thing you could do -- yeah, clap for him.

在开始这个项目前，我以为带来改变的真正方法是通过精心措辞的视频文章、评论和帖子来阻止对立观点，不过我很快就意识到这些只会让已经支持我的人欢呼。有时——祝福你。有时，你能做的最颠覆的事就是——对啊，鼓励他一下吧。

 

Sometimes, the most subversive thing you could do was to actually speak with the people you disagreed with, and not simply at them.

有时，你能做的最颠覆的事就是和那些与你有分歧的人交谈，而不仅仅是去嘲讽他们。

 

Now in every one of my calls, I always ask my guests to tell me about themselves. And it's their answer to this question that allows me to empathize with them. And empathy, it turns out, is a keying redient in getting these conversations off the ground, but it can feel very vulnerable to be empathizing with someone you profoundly disagree with.

现在，在每一次通话中，我总会请嘉宾介绍一下自己。他们对这个问题的答案让我能够同情下他们。事实证明，同情是让交流顺利开始的关键因素，但是去同情一个和你有严重分歧的人会使人变得很脆弱。

 

So I established a helpful mantra for myself. Empathy is not end or sement. Empathizing with someone you profoundly disagree with does not suddenly compromise your own deeply held beliefs and endorse theirs. Empathizing with someone who, for example, believes that being gay is a sin doesn't mean that I'm suddenly going to drop everything, pack my bags and grab my one-way ticket to hell, right?

所以我给自己设立了一条有用的原则。同情不是认可。同情一个你极其反对的人并不会突然地就违背你深信的观念，而去认可他们的观念。比如，同情一个认为同性恋是一种罪恶的人，并不意味着我忽然就要放下自己的一切，非要抢一张去地狱的单程票，对吗？

 

It just means that I'm acknowledging the humanity of someone who was raised to think very differently from me. I also want to be super clear about something. This is not a prescription for activism. I understand that some people don't feel safe talking to their detractors and others feel so marginalized that they justifiably don't feel that they have any empathy to give. I totally get that. This is just what I feel well-suited to do.

它只是意味着我认可有这样一类人，他们被塑造成为与我想法截然不同的人。我也想彻底明白一些事。这不是行动派的解决方案。我理解有些人觉得与自己的反对者交谈不安全，而另一些人会觉得自己被严重排挤，以至于他们有理由觉得自己没有什么同情要给予。我完全理解。这只是我觉得适合做的事情。