TED | 你该如何面对艰难选择

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So if what matters to us - a child’s delight, the love you have for your partner - can’t be represented by real numbers, then there’s no reason to believe that in choice, there are only three possibilities - that one alternative is better, worse or equal to the other. We need to introduce a new, fourth relation beyond being better, worse or equal, that describes what’s going on in hard choices. I like to say that the alternatives are “on a par.”

所以，如果我们觉得重要的东西，如：孩子的幸福、对另一半的爱，不能用数字来表示， 那么我们就没有理由相信， 在抉择过程中只有三种可能性： 其中一选项总会优于、劣于或等于另一项。我们需要一种全新的思考维度，第四种关系除了优于、劣于和等于之外，第四种关系能描述艰难抉择的运行模式。我偏好把各选项看做 “等价”。

When alternatives are on a par, it may matter very much which you choose, but one alternative isn’t better than the other. Rather, the alternatives are in the same neighborhood of value, in the same league of value, while at the same time being very different in kind of value. That’s why the choice is hard.

当所有选项等价时，你的选择就变得极为重要，但选项本身却没有哪个比其他的好。反之，所有的选择项都有类似的价值，都处于同一种价值范畴当中，但同时他们又具有不同的价值。这正是让选择变得困难的原因。

Understanding hard choices in this way uncovers something about ourselves we didn’t know. Each of us has the power to create reasons. Imagine a world in which every choice you face is an easy choice, that is, there’s always a best alternative. If there’s a best alternative, then that’s the one you should choose,because part of being rational is doing the better thing rather than the worse thing, choosing what you have most reason to choose.

如此理解艰难抉择，我们就会在自己身上发现一些意料之外的东西。我们每个人都有能力去创造理由。想象一下若在某个世界中你只需面对简单抉择，那么，永远都有最佳项。若有最佳项，你就应该选它，因为保持理智就意味着选好的不选坏的，选最合理的。

In such a world, we’d have most reason to wear black socks instead of pink socks,to eat cereal instead of donuts, to live in the city rather than the country, to marry Betty instead of Lolita. A world full of only easy choices would enslave us to reasons.

在这样的世界里，我们有充足的理由去穿黑袜子而不穿粉色袜子，去吃干麦片不吃甜甜圈，去留在城市里不转向乡区，去娶Betty而不娶Lolita。充满简单抉择的世界，会让我们成为“原由”的奴隶。

When you think about it, it’s nuts to believe that the reasons given to you dictated that you had most reason to pursue the exact hobbies you do, to live in the exact house you do, to work at the exact job you do. Instead, you faced alternatives that were on a par - hard choices - and you made reasons for yourself to choose that hobby, that house and that job.

当你这样想，你会发现自己一定是疯了才会相信 摆在你面前的选择会决定你追寻各种事物的理由，会决定你的爱好，让你住现在的房子，让你选现在的工作。事实上，当你面对的是多个选择，多个等价的选择，困难的选择，你会为自己制造理由来选择这项爱好、这所房子和这份工作。

When alternatives are on a par, the reasons given to us, the ones that determine whether we’re making a mistake, are silent as to what to do. It’s here, in the space of hard choices, that we get to exercise our normative power - the power to create reasons for yourself, to make yourself into the kind of person for whom country living is preferable to the urban life.

当各选项等价时， 我们面前的各种理性原由， 这些让我们分清对错的原由， 都无法给予我们一个答案。 唯有在这个有艰难抉择的世界里， 我们才能锻炼自己的 规范性力量，以创造自我的原由， 让自己变成 心中想成为的人， 一种更喜爱乡村生活而不是城市生活的人。

When we choose between options that are on a par, we can do something really rather remarkable. We can put our very selves behind an option. Here’s where I stand. Here’s who I am, I am for banking. I am for chocolate donuts.

当我们需要在等价选项间抉择时，我们能做出一些十分了不起的事。我们能把自身放在一个选项之后。（说道）这就是我的选择，这就是我。我选银行业。我选巧克力甜甜圈。

This response in hard choices is a rational response, but it’s not dictated by reasons given to us. Rather, it’s supported by reasons created by us. When we create reasons for ourselves to become this kind of person rather than that, we wholeheartedly become the people that we are. You might say that we become the authors of our own lives.

在艰难抉择中，这种反应是一种理性反应，但却不是由我们面前的各种原由所决定的。反而，这是由我们自己创造的理由所支撑起来的。当我们为自我创造原由去成为这种人而非那种人时，我们就打心底里完完全全地成就了真正的自己。你可以说，我们成了谱写自我人生篇章的作者。

So when we face hard choices, we shouldn't beat our head against a wall trying to figure out which alternative is better. There is no best alternative. Instead of looking for reasons out there, we should be looking for reasons in here: Who am I to be? You might decide to be a pink sock-wearing, cereal-loving, country-living banker, and I might decide to be a black sock-wearing, urban, donut-loving artist. What we do in hard choices is very much up to each of us.

所以当面对艰难抉择，不应该拿脑袋撞墙绞尽脑汁地去想哪个选项更优。最佳项并不存在。与其在外界苦命寻找理由，我们该往心里找： 我想成为什么样的人？你可能会决定成为一个穿粉色袜子、爱好干麦片，还住在乡村的银行家。而我可能会决定成为一个穿黑袜子，住在城市里，喜欢吃甜甜圈的艺术家。面临艰难抉择时的反应很大程度上 取决于我们自己每个人。

Now, people who don’t exercise their normative powers in hard choices are drifters. We all know people like that. I drifted into being a lawyer. I didn’t put my agency behind lawyering. I wasn’t for lawyering. Drifters allow the world to write the story of their lives. They let mechanisms of reward and punishment - pats on the head, fear, the easiness of an option - to determine what they do. So the lesson of hard choices: reflect on what you can put your agency behind, on what you can be for, and through hard choices, become that person.

那些不锻炼自己规范性力量的人会成为“漂流者”。我们都认识那样的人。我（被理性原由限定）“漂流”成了律师。我并没有全身心投入到律师业务当中。我不适合当律师。漂流者允许这个世界谱写他们的生命篇章（被拖着走）。他们让奖罚机制—— 鼓励、畏惧、选择的简单性——来决定自己的道路。所以艰难抉择教会我们要审视自己能把身心与精力放到何处，自己究竟追求什么，并通过困难抉择来成为那种人。

Far from being sources of agony and dread, hard choices are precious opportunities for us to celebrate what is special about the human condition, that the reasons that govern our choices as correct or incorrect sometimes run out, and it is here, in the space of hard choices, that we have the power to create reasons for ourselves to become the distinctive people that we are. And that's why hard choices are not a curse but a godsend.

艰难抉择不是痛苦和恐惧的来源，而是难得的机遇让我们庆幸人类有如此特殊的选择权利，庆幸有时候区分选择正误的理性原由会用尽，而且，庆幸有在这个具有艰难抉择的世界里，我们有能力去为自己创造理由，去成为与众不同的自己。这就是为什么，艰难抉择不是一种诅咒，而是天赐之物。