TED | 如何打败负能量：滚蛋吧小情绪

演讲简介：心理 | “本宝宝不开心了，本宝宝有小情绪了！”从娃娃开始我们就学会了保护自己的身体，可是却很少注重对心理的保健。Guy Winch用幽默的方式阐释了情绪保健的重要性，打败孤独和负能量，找回快乐的自己！

 

演讲者：Guy Winch

 

 

 

演讲精彩片段赏析

 

Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist. So he's not a real doctor, either.We didn't study together, though. In fact, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get my doctorate in psychology. We were apart then for the first time in our lives, and the separation was brutal for both of us. But while he remained among family and friends, I was alone in a new country.

说起双胞胎，我哥哥也是个心理医生。所以他也不是真正的医生。我们不是在一起上的学。事实上，我这辈子经历过的最困难的事就是跨过大西洋搬到纽约，来读心理学的博士学位。那是我们俩第一次分隔两地，这个分离对我俩来说都很残酷。当他和家人朋友一起时，我却孤单的在一个新的国度。

 

We missed each other terribly, but international phone calls were really expensive then, and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week. When our birthday rolled around, it was the first we wouldn't be spending together. We decided to splurge, and that week, we would talk for 10 minutes.

我们都非常想念对方，但那时候国际长途都很贵，我们一周只打得起五分钟的电话。当我们生日快到了的时候，那是我们第一个没在一起过的生日。我们决定奢侈一把，在那个星期聊上十分钟。

 

I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call — and waiting ... and waiting. But the phone didn't ring. Given the time difference, I assumed, "OK, he's out with friends, he'll call later."There were no cell phones then. But he didn't.

我那天早上在房间里踱来踱去，等着我哥哥给我打过来——我等啊等啊，电话就是不响。由于时差的关系，我就想， “好吧，他一定是和朋友在一起，他晚点儿会打来的。” 那时候也没有手机。但他始终没打来。

 

And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him. I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life. I woke up the next morning. I glanced down at the phone, and I realized I had kicked it off the hook when pacing the day before. I stumbled out of bed, I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later. And it was my brother, and boy, was he pissed.

我开始意识到，在我离开十个月以后，他不再像我想他那样想我了。我知道他早上会打来，但那一晚是我一生中最伤心、最漫长的一晚。第二天一早醒来，我瞅了一眼电话，我意识到，来回踱步时我把电话线踹下来了，我迷迷糊糊的跳下床，我刚把电话插回接口，一秒钟之后电话就响了。是我哥哥，他可气坏了。

 

It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well. Now, I tried to explain what happened, but he said, "I don't understand. If you saw I wasn't calling you, why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me?" He was right. Why didn't I call him? I didn't have an answer then. But I do today, and it's a simple one: loneliness.

那也是他一生中最伤心漫长的一夜。当我跟他解释事情的经过，他说， “我不明白，你看我没给你打，你为什么不打给我呢？” 他说的对。我为什么不打给他呢？我当时无法解释，但我现在明白了，非常简单的原因：孤独。

 

Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It make us really afraid to reach out, because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand? I was in the grips of real loneliness back then, but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.

孤独导致深重的心理创伤，扭曲我们的感知能力，剥夺我们的思考能力。它使我们相信身边的人不再在乎我们。它使我们不敢与人联络，为什么给自取其辱被拒绝呢？你的心痛的还不够多么？我那个时候被孤独紧紧包裹着，但我总和别人在一起，我自己都没意识到。

 

But loneliness is defined purely subjectively. It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you. And I did. There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying. Loneliness won't just make you miserable; it will kill you. I'm not kidding. Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by 14 percent. Fourteen percent! Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol. It even suppress the functioning of your immune system, making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases.

但孤独是完全从主观上定义的。它完全取决于你是否觉得在情绪上或是交际上和你周围的人相隔绝。我当时是这样的。我们有很多关于孤独的研究，都很可怕。孤独不仅让你觉得凄惨，它还可能致死。我可不是开玩笑。长期的孤独会增加你早逝的可能性高达14%之多。孤独可能导致高血压、高胆固醇。它甚至会影响你的免疫系统，使你容易患上各种疾病。

 

In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together, chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your long-term health and longevity as cigarette smoking. Now, cigarette packs come with warnings saying, "This could kill you." But loneliness doesn't. And that's why it's so important that we prioritize our psychological health, that we practice emotional hygiene. Because you can't treat a psychological wound if you don't even know you're injured. Loneliness isn't the only psychological wound that distorts our perceptions and misleads us.

事实上，科学家已经得出结论，长期的孤独对你的健康和长寿的负面影响比抽烟还要糟。香烟的包装上还有 “吸烟致命”的警句。可孤独没有。这就是我们为什么要重视心理健康，要注意保持情绪健康。因为，你无法治愈心理上的创伤，如果你都不知道自己受到了伤害的话。孤独不是唯一可能扭曲及误导我们的心理创伤。