TED | 桑迪•牛顿：拥抱他人，拥抱自己

演讲简介

Newton讲述了她找寻自身的“相异性”的故事——开始是作为一个与两个完全不同文化里成长起来的一个孩子，随后，她讲述了她作为一个演员演绎很多永远不同自我的角色的经历，整个演讲温暖而有智慧。

 

 

 

演讲精彩片段（节选）欣赏：

I grew up on the coast of England in the '70s. My dad is white from Cornwall, and my mom is black from Zimbabwe. Even the idea of us as a family was challenging to most people. But nature had its wicked way, and brown babies were born. But from about the age of five, I was aware that I didn't fit. I was the black atheist kid in the all-white Catholic school run by nuns.

我于上世纪七十年代生长在英格兰的海岸边，我父亲是来自康沃尔的白人，我母亲是来自津巴布韦的黑人。对于许多人来说是无论如何也想不到我们是一家人，但大自然自有意想不到的一面，棕色的孩子出生了。但自从五岁开始我就察觉出我的格格不入。我是一个信奉无神论的黑人孩子，在一个由修女运转的白人天主学校我是一个另类。

 

I was an anomaly, and myself was rooting around for definition and trying to plug in. Because the self likes to fit, to see itself replicated, to belong. That confirms its existence and its importance. And it is important. It has an extremely important function. Without it, we literally can't interface with others. We can't hatch plans and climb that stairway of popularity, of success.

我的自我在不断寻找一个定义并试图将自己套入定义，因为自我都是愿意去融入。看到自己被复制，有归属感那能确认自我的存在感和重要性，这很重要。这有一个极端重要的功能，没有一个对自我的定义，我们简直不能和其他人交流。我们无法制定计划、无法爬上潮流和成功的阶梯。

 

But my skin color wasn't right. My hair wasn't right. My history wasn't right. My self became defined by otherness, which meant that, in that social world, I didn't really exist. And I was "other" before being anything else - even before being a girl. I was a noticeable nobody.

但我的肤色不对、我的发色不对、我的来历不对，我的自我被他人定义。这意味着在社会上我并不存在，我首先被定义为一个另类，甚至先于被定义为一个女孩。我是一个“引人注意的透明人”。

 

Another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. That nagging dread of self-hood didn't exist when I was dancing. I'd literally lose myself. And I was a really good dancer. I would put all my emotional expression into my dancing. I could be in the movement in a way that I wasn't able to be in my real life, in myself.

在这个时候另一个世界出现了，那就是表演和舞蹈。对于自我纠缠不清的恐惧在我跳舞时并不存在，我像是失去了自己。我是一个好的舞蹈演员，我会把我所有的感情投入到舞蹈中去。在舞蹈中我能完成我在现实中自己无法做到的动作。

 

And at 16, I stumbled across another opportunity, and I earned my first acting role in a film. I can hardly find the words to describe the peace I felt when I was acting. My dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self, not my own, and it felt so good. It was the first time that I existed inside a fully-functioning self - one that I controlled, that I steered, that I gave life to. But the shooting day would end, and I'd return to my gnarly, awkward self.

当我16岁时我无意中遇到另一个机遇，得到了我的第一个电影角色。我难以找到言语来形容在表演中我感受到的平静，我那残缺的自我终于融入了不是我自己的另一个自我，这种感觉真好。那是我第一次存在于一个正常运作的自我、一个我可以控制的、可以操纵的、可以赋予生命的自我。但是拍摄的日子终会结束，我也会回到我那扭曲尴尬的自我。