TED | 揭开同性恋的神秘面纱

演讲简介：Granderson用一种诙谐幽默的方式传达一个时不我待的信息，指出当下存在的对所谓“同性恋生活”和“同性恋议题”的荒唐态度。关于同性恋者的世界，你们了解多少？

 

演讲者：LZ Granderson

 

演讲精彩片段赏析

 

Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out "the gay lifestyle," "the gay lifestyle," and I keep hearing this word over and over and over again: lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle. I've even heard politicians say that the gay lifestyle is a greater threat to civilization than terrorism. That's when I got scared. Because I'm thinking, if I'm gay and I'm doing something that's going to destroy civilization, I need to figure out what this stuff is, and I need to stop doing it right now. (Laughter)

现在，我坐在这里试图找出"同性恋的生活方式"、"同性恋的生活方式，" 我一直反反复复听到这个词： 生活方式、 生活方式、 生活方式。 我甚至听政客说同性恋的生活方式是对文明一种更大的威胁 相较于恐怖主义而言。 那时我开始感到害怕了。 因为我想，如果我是同性恋而且我做的事会摧毁人类文明， 我需要找出它是什么，然后我需要立刻停止继续做它！ （笑声）

 

So, I took a look at my life, a hard look at my life, and I saw some things very disturbing. (Laughter) And I want to begin sharing these evil things that I've been doing with you, starting with my mornings. I drink coffee. Not only do I drink coffee, I know other gay people who drink coffee. I get stuck in traffic -- evil, evil traffic. Sometimes I get stuck in lines at airports.

所以，我回顾了一下我的生活，一次深刻的回顾 我看到一些非常令人不安的事情。 （笑声） 我想开始与你们分享我做过的这些邪恶的事情， 从我的早晨开始。 我喝咖啡。 不只我喝咖啡，我知道其他同性恋也喝咖啡。 我陷入交通堵塞 — — 邪恶的，邪恶的交通。 有时我会在机场排很长的队.

 

I look around, and I go, "My God, look at all these gay people! We're all trapped in these lines! These long lines trying to get on an airplane! My God, this lifestyle that I'm living is so freaking evil!"

我环顾四周，然后我说，"我的上帝，看看所有这些同性恋！ 我们都被困在了这队伍里 ！这么长的队伍都想上一架飞机！ 我的上帝，我的这种生活方式竟然如此邪恶 ！"

I clean up. This is not an actual photograph of my son's room; his is messier. And because I have a 15-year-old, all I do is cook and cook and cook. Any parents out there of teenagers? All we do is cook for these people -- they eat two, three, four dinners a night -- it's ridiculous! This is the gay lifestyle.

我清扫房间。这不是我儿子房间的真实照片；他的更乱。 因为我有个15岁的儿子，我做的一切就是做饭，做饭，做饭。 有小孩的父母在座吗？我们所做就是给他们做饭- 他们一晚上要吃两顿，三顿，四顿晚餐 — 太荒唐了 ！ 这就是同性恋的生活方式。

 

And after I'm done cooking and cleaning and standing in line and getting stuck in traffic, my partner and I, we get together and we decide that we're gonna go and have some wild and crazy fun. (Laughter) We're usually in bed before we find out who's eliminated on "American Idol." We have to wake up and find out the next day who's still on because we're too freaking tired to hear who stays on. This is the super duper evil gay lifestyle. Run for your heterosexual lives, people.

之后我做饭、洗碗、排队、堵车， 我的伙伴和我，我们聚在一起 我们决定我们要做一些狂野的乐事。 （笑声） 我们通常还来不及看完《美国偶像》就已经倒头入睡 于是不得不在第二天醒来时继续看谁还在舞台上 因为我们实在太累了，等不到宣布结果的一刻。 这就是令人讨厌的同性恋生活 快去追求你们的异性恋生活吧，各位。

 

When my partner, Steve, and I first started dating, he told me this story about penguins. And I didn't know where he was going with it at first. He was kind of a little bit nervous when he was sharing it with me, but he told me that when a penguin finds a mate that they want to spend the rest of their life with, they present them with a pebble -- the perfect pebble.

当我的伴侣，史蒂夫，第一次跟我约会， 他给我讲了个关于企鹅的故事。 一开始我也没弄明白他想表达什么。 他分享给我这个故事的时候有点紧张，他告诉我， 当一只企鹅找到它想要相伴一生的伴侣时， 它们会送给对方一颗鹅卵石——一非常完美的鹅卵石。

 

And then he reaches into his pocket, and he brings this out to me. And I looked at it, and I was like, this is really cool.

说完，他把手伸向口袋，给我看了这个（鹅卵石项链） 我看着它，心想：这棒极了！

 

And he says, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

他说，"我想和你共度人生。"

 

So I wear this whenever I have to do something that makes me a little nervous, like, I don't know, a TEDx talk. I wear this when I am apart from him for a long period of time.

所以，此后每当我要做什么会让我感到紧张的事的时候，我就戴着它 就像今天来做TED演讲。我们很久不能见面的时候我也会戴着它。

 

How many people out there are in love? Anyone in love out there? You might be gay. (Laughter) Because I, too, am in love, and apparently that's part of the gay lifestyle that I warned you about. (Applause) You may want to tell your spouse. Who, if they're in love, might be gay as well. How many of you are single? Any single people out there? You too might be gay! Because I know some gay people who are also single. It's really scary, this gay lifestyle thing; it's super duper evil and there's no end to it! It goes and goes and engulfs!

有多少人爱着？有多少人沉浸在爱之中？你可能是同性恋。（笑声）因为，我也一样，爱着，这显然是我警告过你的同性恋的生活方式中的一种。（掌声）您可能想告诉你的配偶，如果他们也爱着，他们可能也是同性恋。你们有多少人还单身着？ 你们也可能是同性恋 ！因为我知道一些同性恋的人也是单身。可怕吗？真的很可怕！同性恋生活，超级邪恶，没完没了！仿佛“阴魂不散”。