最好的结婚对象是你自己

演讲介绍：

母亲是妓女、酒鬼， 父亲是皮条客和毒枭， 经历过20多个寄养家庭生活的演讲者为了摆脱心理上怕被别人落下的阴影，在19岁的时候选择通过婚姻来改变，但随着一次次婚姻的失败， 最终发现其实真正想要嫁的人是自己， 一个真实的完整的自己。

 

演讲精彩片段赏析

片段一

So this business of marrying yourself transforms every area of your life: your business, family relationships, kids, social relationships, friends. Because when you marry yourself, this huge thing happens: you become able to love in this whole new way. You become able to love other people right where they are, for who they are, the same way you’re already loving yourself. And of course, this is what the world needs more of.

So when I married myself, and I realized that I already had everything I needed, I started seeing it as my job to basically just light up my little corner of the world. That’s my new job. Because I don’t need anything, I already have it.

所以，嫁给自己这件事将改变你人生中的每个部分，你的生意，家庭关系，孩子，社交关系，朋友。因为在你嫁给自己的时候，会发生很大的转变，你将会以全新的方式去爱。你将会无条件地去爱别人，就像你爱自己的那样。没错，这世界就是需要更多这样的爱。当我嫁给自己的时候我就意识到，我已经拥有了我所需要的一切。

 

So when I take meetings, it’s all about how can I help this person achieve her goal? When I’m in my social communities, it is like what can I bring to this that only I can bring?And when I go on dates, it is like how can I just discover another person maybe for just one hour which, of course, brings me a full circle.

我开始把点亮我的小角落这件事情看做自己的工作，那就是我的新工作。因为我现在并不需要什么，所以，当我开会的时候，我所想的就只有怎样帮助她来完成她的目标。在我的社交圈内，我就会想，我能带给这个人只有我能带给他的东西吗？而我在约会的时候，我就会想我能在一个小时内了解对方多少呢？这样就带给我了一个良性循环。

 

片段二

I am not even on this date trying to get someone to like me. I am more interested in how I feel about me than how he feels about me, not because I am selfish, but because the only relationship I am ever going to have with another person is the one that I am already having with myself — just going to have it with them now.

So it turned out he liked me, and we are still together. It’s cool and amazing, but I’ve been married three times, so slow down.

我在这次约会上完全没有努力去让别人喜欢我，比起他怎么看我，我更关心的是我自己怎么看我。并不是因为我自私，而是因为唯一一段我将会和别人拥有的感情就是我现在已经和自己拥有的这种感情。从现在到今后都是如此。后来发现，他很喜欢我，我们也还在约会。这非常酷也非常激动人心，不过鉴于我已经结了三次婚，所以还是慢点。

 

The thing is that I am not trying to get security from him through marriage, and, God forbid, a baby carriage. I am only here to just be in a relationship. I am not dying to hear the words, “Will you marry me?” Because even though those words are very powerful — and very powerful to a person like me — I don’t need them to hear it from him because I have already heard them from myself.

重点在于，我没有想从他或者从婚姻中得到安全感，以及一个婴儿车。我只是为了一段感情而来，我并不会迫不及待想听到“你愿意嫁给我吗？”。因为尽管这样的语言很有煽动性，尤其是对于像我这样的人。我也并不需要从他那里听到这样的话，因为我已经听到自己这样说过了。在我的眼中，就像是我带我自己去了高山之巅或者深海之底，我单膝跪下说“我永远都不会离开你”。

 

The way I see it is like I took myself to the top of a mountain, or maybe to the bottom of the ocean, and I got down on one knee, and I said, “I’ll never leave you.”

And now I am married to the one person I really wanted to be with all along: myself.

现在，我终于嫁给了那个我一直想共度一生的人，我自己。

 

词汇点津：

social community 社交圈

a full circle 良性循环

slow down 慢下来

a baby carriage 婴儿车