TED | 当阿拉伯人、印度人和伊朗人走进卡塔尔酒吧

演讲简介:2012 | 伊朗-美国裔喜剧家玛斯 乔布蓝尼来到了卡塔尔多哈的TED峰会上,谈论了在中东的一些严肃话题--例如当问好时到底要轻吻几下,以及在美国飞机上什么不该说。

 

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Hello, Doha. Hello! Salaam alaikum.

嗨,多哈。嗨,大家好(阿拉伯问候语)

 

I love coming to Doha. It's such an international place. It feels like the United Nations here. You land at the airport, and you're welcomed by an Indian lady who takes you to Al Maha Services, where you meet a Filipino lady who hands you off to a South African lady who then takes you to a Korean who takes you to a Pakistani guy with the luggage who takes you to the car with a Sri Lankan.

我喜欢来多哈。这是个如此国际化的地方。这就像——似乎联合国就在这里。当你到达机场后,是个印度女士来迎接你的,她把你带到阿玛哈酒店,在这里你见到一位菲律宾女士,菲律宾女士把你转托给一位南非女士,南非女士把你带给一位韩国人,而这位韩国人把你和行李带给一个巴基斯坦家伙。巴基斯坦人连同一个斯里兰卡人把你带上了车。

 

You go to the hotel and you check in. There's a Lebanese. Yeah? And then a Swedish guy showed me my room.

你到达了酒店并办理了入住。(前台)是个黎巴嫩人。额?然后一个瑞典人带我看了下房间。

 

I said, "Where are the Qataris?"

They said, "No, no, it's too hot. They come out later. They're smart." "They know."

我说卡塔尔人呢?

他们说不,不,现在太热了,他们晚点出来,他们比较聪明” “他们知道这一点

 

And of course, it's growing so fast, sometimes there's growing pains. You know, like sometimes you run into people that you think know the city well, but they don't know it that well. My Indian cab driver showed up at the W, and I asked him to take me to the Sheraton, and he said, "No problem, sir." And then we sat there for two minutes.

当然多哈发展如此迅速,有时也有成长的烦恼。你们知道,比如,你对这个城市很了解但有时你会遇到一些对这个城市不是很了解的人,我的印度司机出现在W,我让他送我去希尔顿酒店,他说没问题,先生然后我们就在原地呆了2分钟。

 

I said, "What's wrong?" He said, "One problem, sir."

I said, "What?" He goes, "Where is it?"

我说怎么不走?他说有个问题,先生

我说什么问题。他说那地方在哪?

 

I go, "You're the driver, you should know."He goes, "No, I just arrived, sir." I go, "You just arrived at the W?" "No, I just arrived in Doha, sir." "I was on my way home from the airport, I got a job. I'm working already." He goes, "Sir, why don't you drive?"

我继续说你是司机,你应该知道。他说我不知道,我刚到不久,先生我说你刚到W吗?(他说)不,我刚到多哈,先生。我从机场回家的路上,得到了这份工作。但那时我已经在工作了他说先生,你干嘛不开车呢?

 

"I don't know where we're going." "Neither do I. It will be an adventure, sir."

我说我不知道我们要去哪” “我也不知道,这将是个探险之旅,先生

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