生命中最惨痛的时刻如何造就我们

演讲介绍：

作家安德鲁·所罗门(Andrew Solomon)一生都在阐述关于艰辛的故事。现在他转向自己，带给我们一个充满挣扎的童年，同时简述着他近年来遇见的勇敢的人们的故事。在这个动人，衷心而时而完全幽默的演讲中，所罗门呼吁我们从最大的挑战中找寻意义。

 

演讲精彩片段赏析

 

片段一

 

We make those choices all our lives. When I was in second grade, Bobby Finkel had a birthday party and invited everyone in our class but me. My mother assumed there had been some sort of error, and she called Mrs. Finkel, who said that Bobby didn't like me and didn't want me at his party. And that day, my mom took me to the zoo and out for a hot fudge sundae. When I was in seventh grade, one of the kids on my school bus nicknamed me "Percy," as a shorthand for my demeanor. 

我们一生中有很多这样的选择。我小学二年级的时候，鲍比开了个生日派对他邀请了班上的所有人，除了我。我妈妈认为一定是出了什么差错，所以给鲍比的母亲打了电话，鲍比的母亲说，鲍比不喜欢我，不想让我参加他的派对。那天，我妈妈带我去了动物园并去吃了焦糖冰激凌。我在7年级（初中一年级）时，我乘坐的校车上有个孩子 叫我：“波西”（发音似“女式手提包”）取笑我的言行举止。

 

And sometimes, he and his cohort would chant that provocation the entire school bus ride, 45 minutes up, 45 minutes back: "Percy! Percy! Percy! Percy!" When I was in eighth grade, our science teacher told us that all male homosexuals develop fecal incontinence because of the trauma to their anal sphincter. And I graduated high school without ever going to the cafeteria, where I would have sat with the girls and been laughed at for doing so, or sat with the boys, and been laughed at for being a boy who should be sitting with the girls.

有时，他和他的伙伴会在整个校车的路途上不停地吆喝着这个挑衅，去学校的45分钟，回家的45分钟，“波西！波西！波西！波西！” 当我8年级（初中二年级）的时候，我们的科学老师告诉我们，所有的男性同性恋者都会大便失禁，因为他们的肛门肌肉受到创伤。我直到高中毕业，我都从没去过学校的食堂，在那儿我如果和女生坐在一起，那么我会被笑话，或者如果我和男生坐在一起，那么我会被笑话为一个本应该跟女生坐在一起的男生。

 

I survived that childhood through a mix of avoidance and endurance. What I didn't know then and do know now, is that avoidance and endurance can be the entryway to forging meaning. After you've forged meaning, you need to incorporate that meaning into a new identity. You need to take the traumas and make them part of who you've come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things that hurt.

我用了忍耐加上逃避，才熬过了我的童年。我当时不知道，但我现在明白了：逃避和忍耐是铸造意义的入口通道。铸造了意义以后，你必须把这个意义融入 一个新的身份。你需要把创伤变成你自身的一部分，你必须把生命中最糟糕的时间，揉搓成胜利的故事，用更好的自己来还击能伤害你的事物。

 

片段二

 

Some of our struggles are things we're born to: our gender, our sexuality, our race, our disability. And some are things that happen to us: being a political prisoner, being a rape victim, being a Katrina survivor. Identity involves entering a community to draw strength from that community, and to give strength there, too. It involves substituting "and" for "but" — not "I am here but I have cancer," but rather, "I have cancer and I am here."

有些挣扎是先天的：我们的性别，性倾向，种族，残疾。有些是后天发生的事情：成为政治犯，成为强奸的受害者，成为飓风卡特里娜的幸存者。身份意味着进入一个社群，从社群中得到力量，并同时给予那社群力量。这需要把“但是”转换成“而且”不是“我在这儿但是我有癌症”而是，“我有癌症而且我在这里。”

When we're ashamed, we can't tell our stories, and stories are the foundation of identity. Forge meaning,build identity. Forge meaning and build identity. That became my mantra. Forging meaning is about changing yourself. Building identity is about changing the world. 

当我们对自己感到惭愧，我们就无法阐述自己的故事，而故事是身份的基础。铸造意义，建立身份，铸造意义并建立身份，这变成了我的口头禅。铸造意义所需要的是改变自己。建立身份所需要的是改变世界。 

All of us with stigmatized identities face this question daily: How much to accommodate society by constraining ourselves, and how much to break the limits of what constitutes a valid life? Forging meaning and building identity does not make what was wrong right. It only makes what was wrong precious.

所有像我这样身份沾有污点的人 每天都必须面对这个问题：我该多大限度地通过禁锢自己来迁就社会？我该多大限度地打破所谓 正确生活的底线？铸造意义和建立身份不会把错的变成对的。只会把错误的变得珍贵。

 

词汇点津：

fudge [fʌdʒ] n. 软糖

sundae ['sʌnde] n. 圣代冰淇淋

shorthand ['ʃɔːthænd] n. 速记

demeanor [di'mi:nə] n. 风度；举止；行为

cohort ['kəʊhɔːt] n. 支持者

provocation [,prɒvə'keɪʃ(ə)n] n. 挑衅；激怒；挑拨

triumph ['traɪʌmf] n. 胜利